worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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