I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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