I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
