If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
