I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
