Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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