no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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