you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
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I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
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He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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