Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
