My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
