He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Randomize
