DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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