I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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