ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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