ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
