hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize