From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
