Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
