after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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