She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
