i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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