Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
