she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
