it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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