I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
