I will die if light touches me.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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