How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
