after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
