Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
