This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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