so that wasnt chicken after all
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
