we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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