Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
