I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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