I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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