he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
