two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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