We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize