Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
