I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
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ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
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Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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