She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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