It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
