he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
