he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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