do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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