she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
