like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
my vag is so smooth its legendary
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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