Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Buhtt sex?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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