just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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