its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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