I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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