Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize