Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
