it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
